space monkey

formerly desperationfascination
MY NAME IS EMILIE, I AM CANADIAN AND I NEED TO BE SEDATED.

oddities/crackwhores/gore/melancholia/film/film stills/random shit
i'm socially awkward and tomato faced and a laveyan satanist and i'm a timwhore and i'm blonde haired blue eyed and i love shit jokes. spare a follow, bro?

ask me something bro / about me / boo / blabbing / music i've posted / photog tumblr/  starving haitians

EVERYTHING YOU’VE EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT ME BUT WERE TOO AFRAID TO ASK 

i said i’d write somewhat of an ‘about me’ at some point and i’ve been getting a lot of questions in my ask box (and by that i mean like 1 or 2 every month, p0pul@r) about my silly little ‘15 facts’, i figured i might as well write a continuation. so as i sit here after stuffing my face with kfc, listening to the beach boys, here goes nuffin

1. the very first thing my mother said to me when i emerged from her 37 year old vagina was, “OH MY GOD ITS A CONEHEAD”
2. as my milf’s firstborn, she was excited and kept a baby progress journal. i found it this past summer and read some of it with my brother and lol’d hysterically at my mother writing about how i would smash my face against the ground when i was mad. explains y im so fucked up i guess!!
3. i have a 15 year old brother and 26 year old half sister
4. i was a really stupid kid. i lied a lot about the stupidest things
5. all my relatives are cranky old germans with meaty faces. i’m in the first generation of canadians born in my fam
6. i was raised around airplanes - my opa (grandfather) had 8 planes and my father had one and he’d take me for flights on weekends when i was a kid back before i realized how much of a fubar dick he is
7. i’m five foot ten and have been since i was around eleven or twelve years old. feels bad man
8. i’m a colour grapheme synesthete with oral linguistic personnification. in english, it means i subconciously associate numbers, letters, objects, words with colours and personalities. read moar? 
9. i have five earlobe piercings on each ear (which is the most i can get away with, still under my mother’s roof) and no tattoos. i have no problem waiting
10. i actually have a ‘best friend’ who i would most definitely describe as my other half. she is not only my best friend, but probably my only friend and as much as she can be an overdramatic coot sometimes, i wouldn’t change that shit for the world
11. i’ve never had a boyfriend and i’m the ultimate virg in the sense that i’ve never held hands, kissed, fucked, let alone ever been flirted with in my entire life (FOREVER ALONE)
12. photography’s something i’m really passionate about and although the chances of me getting in/or even finding a job afterwards are slim, i hope to get into the ryerson school of image arts.
13. i’m blonde haired and blue eyed except im not as good looking as that seems
14. i’ve had so many unsuccessful attempts at blogging in my life. i kept a livejournal primarily about my eighth grade quest to receive my first hug from a male who wasn’t family. >refer back to #11>ultimate virg
15. i still sleep with a stuffed chicken i’ve had since i was two months old, my first easter
16. music taste includes shit like: placebo, atreyu, tech n9ne, eminem (of course), deftones, alexisonfire, bullet for my valentine, cancer bats, alice in chains, adele, nine inch nails, pink, the philosopher kings, sparklehorse, eels, coldplay, etc 
17. i have leather skin and i dont get papercuts
18. i work at tim hortons. if you’re canadian you’ll keel over in envy (except not really)
19. i love all things perfume ish and scented
20. i sweat profusely no matter what the weather is like or what the room temperature is
21. currently all my pyjama bottoms have crotch holes except for the ones i am wearing now
22. my birthday is the 9th of february, im aquarius as fuck
23. i self identify with laveyan satanism and i’ve read the satanic bible
24. my favourite book is survivor by chuck palahniuk, who is also my favourite author
25. i hate having my picture taken and i will make sure there are no pictures of me on facebook without my motherfucking permission, which won’t be given 99% of the time anyway (i hate seeing pictures of myself cause im like ‘damn im not as hot as i feel~~)
26. i’ve been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and depression at the age of 14 and have been on celexa (citalopram) ativan (lorazepam) wellbutrin (bupropion) effexor (venflaxine) prozac (fluoxetine) and methylphenidate (concerta/ritalin) since
27. i have tried weed, ecstasy, shrooms, hash, cocaine - and managed to do so responsibly
28. i’m not a prude. i’m actually the farthest from it. i just havent’ been able to obtain the shit due to my limited social contacts (see #10 lol) and slight worries over an adverse reaction because of the shit i’m on (#26)
29. i love shit jokes
30. it takes a fuck of a lot of effort to get myself to cry
31. i will forever be the girl who ‘used to never talk’ (thank you medication i guess) ‘who had a red face all the time’ 
32. i have 2 cats and im like obsessed with one of them - shes a norwegian forest cat named meeka and she’s the most beautiful woman i’ve ever feasted my eyes upon. my other cat is annoying and cries all the time because he seems to always have impacted shit in his colon
33. my best friend and i are ultimate shit disturbers and terrible people, yet we do things like volunteer weekly at a thrift store and with the special olympics (i suspect its to make up for the fact that we’re shitty people- although not conciously)
34. 100% for gay rights, abortion, euthanasia, death penalty and the decriminalization of marijuana 
35. i’m only really half there
36. i will offend you